It has now been six months since the Lord provided the answer to where we are called to serve Him.
Sometimes I start to feel a little anxious. I know that we are supposed to be here and I know that He has provided everything that this situation is made of. The thing that I start to feel nervous about is that Tim is still not able to join me here. He is still in Maryland, and while that seems to be a good situation, for lots of reasons, it is lasting a lot longer than I thought it would, and there is still no end date. Lord, what is this?
But then I was reading through the end of my Bible study this morning and the reflection was about trusting God's plan, when you can't see how it's going to play out.
Like Joseph, who was told in a dream to take Mary and Jesus and head to Egypt. He was told to go live in a new place, and he knew that the messenger was trustworthy, so he went. Did he get there, and wonder, "Is this really what you want Lord?" Well, obviously it was, and he was given many signs and indications, how long to stay and when to go back.
We know that we heard right. There have been just too many things that only the Lord could have done, and so much affirmation in prayer.
The "big three" things for me, that are coalescing somehow, are my journey through Theology of the Body, my walk with God as a Spiritual Director, and this move to a new place, and a new parish and archdiocese. All works of God in my life, all a calling to a particular mission, and all pointing to my place in the vineyard.
I was an enthusiastic homeschooling mom. I loved it, and it was a call that I answered as long as He kept pointing that way. The kids grew up and moved on in life and as that was happening, unbeknownst to me, there was already a new passion taking up space in my heart.
It started with that invitation by Fr Dale to go to the first course at the Theology of the Body Institute. I can't even describe the way that has changed my life, and my heart. My entire understanding of what it means to be a human being in relationship with God and other people. I am so humbled every day by the grace that has poured out of that teaching. I am so, so grateful, and I want to introduce it to anyone that is ready to hear it.
After a few years of study in that teaching, I was invited to look at becoming a Spiritual Director. Oh my goodness. What a gift. Every meeting with a directee is an encounter with the heart of a person and the Heart of God. It is an inexpressible privilege. I am still constantly amazed that He has given me this gift of seeing His love for His daughters. Every one of them loves Him so much, and they are seeking to be closer, and that just delights Him! Making Him happy is my greatest joy.
A couple of years ago I thought I knew what I would be doing, and where. I knew that I would eventually be certified in TOB, after a long time.... and I would finish the Spiritual Direction course and be certified there too. It seemed like the two were/are a perfect fit.
OK, so then He started giving us this idea that we should sell that home where we had been so happy for so long. Where I thought that I would be hosting Bible Studies and small group meetings well into old age. No, He gently put it onto our hearts that we needed to sell. And we did. And we needed to move to a place that He would show us. And that is just exactly what has happened, for me. Knowing that we have the home that He had prepared for us, in the new Archdiocese and parish, in the great state of Texas, I have absolute confidence that the three things that have been His desire for me will bear fruit, because we have been put here by Him. I just want Tim to be here too. And he is sure that it is God's will that it will happen. We just have to wait for that miracle of "Now". I have no doubt that it will be very clear that it was the work of God. That's how it has been all the way through this.
So I will keep learning, and doing my best to walk in the way that He has set for me. And Tim will do the same, and one of these days, we'll be doing it here, together. And it will be wonderful.
