A very wise person recently advised me that I may be a little too concerned with what I should do, based on my perception of what other people think. She suggested that I spend the rest of Advent letting go of thoughts about people's expectations and instead spend time in prayer and reflection about the One who gave me life and what He desires for me. The areas that seem to keep me running in circles are:
*Family responsibilities coming from my side of the family which I can really do nothing about, but which, when I think about how to approach and try to deal with them, make my head spin. I know that I am one of the people that needs to do something, but as far as I can see there are no real solutions. I don't see how I can just abandon the situation, but then again, I have no idea what to do about it.
*A sense that I am not reaching the right people in my work. I love the company that I work for. I have been involved in the organizing industry for years now, and it seems so right for me. I love working with people and helping them solve their problems. I just don't think that the populations that I would be best at working with are aligned with the cost of the service that we are providing in this company. Not that it's wrong to seek a more affluent type of client, but the clients that I really want to serve are families, preferably large homeschooling ones, and the elderly as they transition from the family home to smaller spaces. I really just want to offer services by the job, or the hour, and work directly for the client, to cut costs for them. I am just not sure how to approach this in my current work situation.
*The need to make money to supplement our income for the boy's education which leads me to needing to make money somehow, and wanting to do what I love! I really don't get any work through the company right now. I need to find the place that I am needed and can be the most effective.
*Trying to stay in good graces with friends in our circle, as my own views on what is acceptable are changing. I am really not so sure that rigid black and white thinking has been healthy.
My wise friend told me to open these questions up in writing and to try to find some answers.
This blog will be the space to do that.
I am going to try not to dwell, but to pose questions to myself.
The first question is....