Yesterday was the end of a long week of struggle. We had been watching the news, the blogs, listening to all the talk, and making phone calls, writing letters and trying to make a dent in the Leviathan that is Congress, specifically this congress.
Well, the bill passed the House anyway, and I passed a week of joyless anxiety over it.
Those hours and days are gone. I can't go back and make any of it up.
This morning I decided that this has just got to stop. I am not a homeschooling mom to be pouring that much of myself into an effort that may or may not bear fruit.
The machine in DC is going to grind away with or without my attention, and I am not going to let THEM take any more of the gift of time that I have with my family.
They are going to do what they are going to do, but if I let this suck up any more of my attention, if I let it wedge it's way into the heart of my home, I am letting it steal something that is precious and dear. My peace, and my Joy.
So I am going to do things a little differently. I will look at the news once in the morning. I do need to stay informed. I am done with talk radio, I am going to limit my blog reading to Catholic and family related blogs. I am going to listen to more good music and I am going to spend more time everyday dwelling on the gifts that we do have. If there are calls to make, I'll make them and then get back to reality.
I think the reason that this all came into focus, is that right now we are praying a sweet little boy into heaven. Little Gavin is fighting the battle of his life and his family is in the midst of an unimaginable experience as they sit with him and help him to die.
I was telling the boys today that we have no idea what it is like for his sister to be losing her brother. She is four years old and she is saying Good bye to the little brother that she has known and loved for as long as she can remember.
How can any of us take for granted the people in our lives that mean the most to us? How can we not use the time that we have in loving and living as if there won't be any more?
Life is just too short.
Mom is dealing with an awful disease and I can't be there to go through it with her. I am so glad that when I did live there, and when the girls were young, that we spent so much time at the farm. That we have a great relationship and no walls or angst between us.
Life is too short.
Eternity will be where we can finally relax and never have to worry again about how we are using our time, but while we are here we have to account for the great gift of time and relationship that we have been given. It's a treasure that we don't dare squander.
