It's a little odd to be in this limbo of inactivity at this moment. I had been so busy, so full of purpose, and ideas and things were just starting to look like they would be returning to normal as far as the parish is concerned. I was working on a talk to give. I had been trying to think of things that we might do to bring families back to Mass. I was so full. And now there is so much uncertainty and I feel like my direction is, if not changed, then rather suspended. There was so much that I was waiting for, and now I am just waiting. I know that it is all God's will, but it is so disconcerting to think that He wants one thing and be earnestly trying to do that, only to find out that that isn't it at all, and that it's possible that there will be no place for the things that seemed so possible. I don't feel angry or hurt, just confused.
I wonder if I should just get a job. Maybe there is some place for me to be useful and still be able to share the Gospel and the truth. I have to do something. I think that I will try to write more frequently, and I will be better about seeing friends and helping people. I will be going through the Spiritual Direction course, but will Fr Dale be able to continue to be my Spiritual Director? He is going to be very busy at his new parish. If he can't then I have to find someone soon, because all the students at the school have to be in direction themselves. I feel very restless and kind of at loose ends. I know that God has a plan for me, and that I need to be patient and listen to Him. He has been telling me that things were going to be different, I just didn't know how different.
I think that I will get in touch with a few people and see if there is anyone that needs a hand with anything. I am not working as an organizer right now, but I can do some work as a volunteer. Maybe something will come of that.
It has been nice out, weather-wise. It was actually hot yesterday. The yard is very happy, and everything is very green. We put in the air-conditioners upstairs.
Claire is 10! She had a party and got a couple of nice gifts. I can't wait to see her! Lucy is going to be 14!! What fun we will have on our trip!
Cora is 5 weeks! What a little cutie she is! I need to get over to see her today.